Dont try to save me

...and Ill do the same for you. I'm blogging this blog to blog baby, not to change America, although it will probably happen after this. I'm not here to tell you its alright and hang in there, cause sometimes its not and you have to pay the piper even if paydays a week away. I'm not posting pictures of me with a porcelain statue of a duck in an inner tube in front of landmarks like Nevada's biggest outdoor thermometer, or the original Marie Calendars. I'm not even posting this in hopes that my long lost son reads this, and forgives me. No. This is a fun, creative, way to fill the days that I can do naked and drunk and not have this story end with me building a sidewalk for the parks and recreation department of New York as part of my community service. Not having a day job has screwed up my perspectives and inner clock, and this will help document the descent into ...well boredom I guess, madness is a bit strong. If you follow me, I promise that you will be entertained, frightened, pitiful, and apathetic. Maybe not all at once, but, some variation thereof. I can promise many misspelled words and untrue references. I can promise there will be days, maybe weeks that go by without a new post as I'm sure I will forget I have this from time to time. Like my Netflix account, or my monthly charge for my fantasy baseball site. I'll regale you in tales as to what I do to battle boredom, and my own thoughts on a day to day basis. Most of them true. Recently Ive been trying to document how my hair looks depending on whether I use shampoo or not. But in the shower I get distracted by songs, or the beer I almost spilt on the soap and I can never remember if I used it or not. I have to take all of the shampoo out of the bathroom and hide it so next time I get in, I wont be able to use it. Also, Ive been eating a hell of a lot of "magic" cookies recently.

Carla Gugino, call me.

I just texted a friend to let him know wed be watching football in Queens tomorrow and spellcheck changed "in Queens" to "maidens". So Ill be watching football maidens! That message will make sense.

Add bacon bits to your next meal. No matter what it is, just do it. Well, Ill be in touch. And now, as everyone knows, a good way to end a blog is with a deep quote that you didnt write, that sums up your feelings about what you did write.

These days I seem to think a lot about the things that I forgot to do---These Days by Jackson Browne

If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.---Dick Cavett